Career

Finding my value as a female freelancer

"So, what’s your rate?"

A question that comes up at the end of any successful first meeting with a new client. And it’s a question that I’ve cringed at and felt uncomfortable with for a long time. It’s a loaded question, which asks, "how much are your services worth?" And subtly insinuates, "how much are you worth?" No wonder it makes many of us feel uncomfortable. In many a situation, I’ve undersold myself, in terms of both my skill base and my hourly rate. So, I’ve decided, using my platform on CoWomen, that I’d like to open a discussion of finding personal value in the world of entrepreneurship.

This discussion has many different components. But, at least in my case, can be split down the middle into two rough categories. These are; knowing myself and my value, and secondly, showcasing and communicating my value outwardly to clients, coworkers, and others. We’ll tackle them one at a time…

Starting with ourselves:

The former category is the more challenging of the two for me. It’s something that I’ve really had to work on and still remind myself of often. Doubting ourselves is something that we’ve all done -or do- to some extent. And when starting out on your own, that can be even more prominent. Especially as a young female, often in environments dominated by people older than me. Fighting back against self-doubt has been one of my single biggest challenges, and most real key successes to date.

One way I challenged myself to think differently was by creating two lists on a piece of paper. One list contained my ‘drawbacks’ and the other side listed things I had achieved, my values, things I was proud of, and short term goals. For example, in the back of my mind has always been the murmur, "but you’re only in your early 20’s, you don’t have the skills or experience that ‘x’ requires." I scribbled this down on my paper, and linked this to statements on the other side, such as, "I have done x internship at x company." "I have demonstrated willingness to learn and adapt by x, y and z." "I have learnt a wide range of transferable skills by…" You get the idea.

This piece of paper with all of the intertwining links became my ‘bullshit-buster.’ Whenever doubts flew into my brain at the speed of light, I’d have instant ‘put-downs’ to my own negative, thoughts. Writing down the things I was worried people in my professional life were thinking about me, but then linking them up with honest examples of why they weren’t true, or at least why they shouldn’t be reasons to collaborate with me, I learned that my value was much greater than I’d previously thought. "I do have the skills, my potential is great and I’m excited to continue on my journey as a young female freelancer." My mantra.

Crunch time:

Before many a meeting, I’ve sat in front of a mirror, wondering if I’m dressed too smart, too casual, how I should introduce myself. How I can add value to this company, and ultimately how I can get the people on the other side of the table to want me on their team? Having your bullshit-buster in hand -or at least memorised in your head- is a great aid to have at this moment.

If I’m having a meeting with a new potential client, it’s because I can see myself as a part of their team. I’ve certainly already done my research, had a chat with someone on the team via email or phone, and I’m excited by the prospect of working together. From their side, they know I’m very interested and they must think (or even just have a hunch) that I’m somewhat capable or passionate.

Bearing in mind that the people opposite of you aren’t doubting your every word. Rather, hopefully, they’re interested in how you are interacting and presenting yourself; listening to your ideas and also giving you information on the role and their wants and expectations. At some point, however, the question we started this whole article with will come up. ‘

"So, what’s your rate?"

You’ve probably practiced answering this answer many times. Breathe you’ve got this. Now, you know your worth in terms of what you can bring to the table, what’s required of you in this potential new role, and what you believe you should be paid… Now add tax. Money isn’t the be-all end-all, but this ‘business’ you’ve got going on…it should be benefiting you financially. So, up that hourly rate a little, add tax or a little something to  cover potential overheads, and be confident with the number you serve back over to the other side of the table. What’s the worst that will happen? I’ll tell you: it’s that you’ll both have to negotiate and compromise somewhere. This is very doable, and should not be shied away from. And there you go, you’ve done it! The conversation that left you sweaty-palmed at the mere thought of it is over, and more importantly, you’ve navigated it well. Based off of good listening skills, communicating clearly with passion, and with a strong sense of self-belief. Congratulations!

Adapting, changing, and learning. 

Ultimately finding, learning, and expressing your value in whatever line of work you do is a challenge. It’s something that is constantly adapting and evolving. There’s no way that just one piece of paper can change your outlook. But at least it’s a start, it was my start. Learning our value in every aspect of our lives is something difficult, yet imperative, and undoubtedly entirely fulfilling once we’re on our way to finding it out. As freelancers, entrepreneurs, women in business, just even as humans navigating the world, we’re on our way. Although right now we might not be aware of our destination, self-belief, a willingness to learn, and the right attitude will do a lot in terms of getting us there.

Always remember: know your value and add tax.

-Aimée Elizabeth Cooper

by Aimée Elizabeth Cooper

Personal branding: what it is and how to do it

What is a personal brand? Personally, I had no clue. 

The most straightforward definition I’ve gotten is that it’s the way you personify your goals and values. Which seems simple enough in theory, but in execution, I have no idea where to start. So, I attended three different talks on branding, both personal and corporate, by attending Bjorn Welter's talk at Tech Open Air on “Branding and Beyond: How to Create a Truly Connected Community” and Future Females "Build a Personal Brand to Influence" event where Kat Brendel and Kaddie Rothe gave their input. In this post, I've pulled together the main takeaways on how to actually embody your values into a distinct personal brand.  

Corporate branding

We can start easy with corporate branding before we go into how to create a personal brand. I was lucky enough to attend the Tech Open Air conference this year in Berlin, and I stopped by “Branding and Beyond: How to Create a Truly Connected Community” written and delivered by Bjorn Welter, who has worked in branding for major companies, like Pret A Manger, Virgin Atlantic Airways, and Hello Fresh. So, he knows his stuff. 

The main two points I took away are: people want to feel they are a part of a community, and a brand can provide that sense of belonging. But, customers want to maintain their autonomy. Humans are not solitary creatures, they exist within families and tribes, and always strive to have a sense of belonging. Brands can provide that.  

At first, I thought this sounded pretty cliché, but then I thought of the almost cult-like following of Apple users, who identify with one another and connect through features like iMessage or if you own AirPods. Or whether your athletic wear is Adidas or Nike. The brand you select says something about you - it makes others immediately connect with you. This intangible quality of the brand, what they represent, is what branding is. But how do they get there? 

Customers need options!

However, Welter stressed that, like children who are given a sense of belonging with their parents, but are always wandering off getting into things, customers need the freedom to explore. The example given was being at a party. You’ll find the majority of people at a party in the kitchen and not the living room. This is because being condemned to the couch at the party, only speaking to the person beside you, heavily limits your freedom to roam and explore. Alternatively, you could be in the kitchen talking to friends, but then turning to make a drink, or grab some chips.  

A real-life example Welter pulled from his own experience was the Pret A Manger free-drink policy. Any employee can decide to let a customer have their drink for free. No reason needed. This display of kindness made customers feel taken care of and acknowledged, not unlike what someone would do for them in a family. And in turn, the customers became loyal and chose to buy their coffee at Pret A Manger.  

By continuously selecting to get their coffee from Pret A Manger, customers exercised choice to be a part of this community, and it became part of their identity to be Pret A Manger coffee drinkers. Alternatively, if they lacked the choice of where they were able to get their coffee every morning, they may be resentful of the coffee they were forced to brew at their work. Choice matters!

But how does this translate into creating your own personal brand?

The question then becomes, how do you create a brand for your business, that then makes people identify with you and keep coming back for more?

If you are self-employed or job searching, you aren’t at liberty to give away free products and services. How do you make yourself unique from your peers and competitors? How do you provide a community? 

Kat Brendel, our proud co-founder of CoWomen, marketing and podcast consultant, and founder and host of the Leading Rebels Podcast provided insight on how to take control of your story and past, and what you can give away, even if it isn’t tangible goods at the "Build a Personal Brand to Influence" event hosted by the Future Females.  

Not everything is a transaction

First thing first, you will be disappointed very quickly with a this-for-that outlook on business. Commenting on everyone’s posts, sending out free goodie bags, or doing someone’s taxes for them, only to get absolutely nothing in return, is not the exception. If you set out on the mission on how you can get one, very specific thing, you’ll probably be disappointed. So, the first step of personal branding is changing this mindset.  

What can bring you a greater return is being genuinely helpful. Send that company an email telling them the link on their site is broken, fill out that survey and let that business know how their product was, offer your expertise on a guest panel for a local event. Casting your net far and wide, while presenting yourself as a helpful, knowledgeable, and honest person will resonate more with people than sending them a free t-shirt in the hope for a specific job offer.

What you have to offer may not please everyone

And that is okay! Find what works for you, that you know you can do consistently. You’re building a reputation for yourself, and it’s FREE (or of little expense). You can also prove your consistency and reliability by utilizing outlets you love. If you love YouTube but hate Facebook, that’s fine! Build a YouTube schedule so people can actually anticipate and expect your videos, and because you’ve selected a medium you enjoy, you won’t dread it and you’ll actually maintain your goals. There is constant evolution, and even influxes, of new media outlets, don’t condemn yourself to one you hate for your personal branding when there are plenty of other options. 

What about your specific story? 

Okay, so you’ve built a [insert media platform of your choice] schedule, you’ve connected with people and businesses to prove that you're helpful and reliable, but now it’s time to actually talk about you, your goals, and the lessons you’ve learned.  

And while your life may have been filled with wonderful opportunities, there might be a couple mistakes here and there. Unfortunately, shit happens. Many uncontrollable factors on this planet cause things to happen to you. These things are not indicative of your character, and oftentimes they’re out of your control.  

However, you DO have a say in how you tell your story. Kat’s advice was if you aren’t in control of a situation, you are in control of how you choose to portray it. Don’t lie and deny the bad stuff, but let people know your perspective on things. Don’t forget that all of your audience is human. The human factor in your storytelling is what makes you personable and relatable. People resonate with the messy and ugly stuff too.  

But do clients relate to the messy and the ugly stuff?

Yep! Kaddie Rothe, founder of goalgirls, a creagency in Berlin, and the second speaker of the night at the "Build a Personal Brand to Influence" event, has found success through pursuing her business without formulaic structure. Creagency is a broad term for the creative campaigns goalgirls execute. They utilize activism, sustainability, and rebellious thinking to create innovative marketing campaigns for huge businesses, like Bumble. And I was lucky enough to listen to her take on personal branding.

Kaddie herself used to be an Instagram influencer, and in her own words, “dreaded” making personal posts. She heavily debated the word “authenticity” in her talk about personal branding and concluded that there is no authentic version of yourself. People have bad days. Maybe you’re on your period, or you’re hungover at a meeting. You can never maintain a consistent image all the time.  

Luckily, living in Berlin, people like the messy and the dirty. Kaddie found that consistent social media campaigns, and more conventional *read: boring* marketing ploys lack the personal touches that make people connect with businesses. Her business has gained its success and following by having a human factor.  

What is my personal brand? 

What will someone say about you in a wedding speech or when toasting your promotion at work? Those stories that distinctly capture your unique quirks is what Kat thinks may be indicative of what your personal brand is. 

Her advice? Ask people what is special about you! What do they value? Don't fish for compliments, but what people say might surprise you. What’s the stuff that you do when you’re so focused on making that business deal, or engaging in conversation with a stranger that you aren’t even aware of it? Your self-identifying introvert self might be surprised on how people compliment how sociable you are. You have strengths you may not even be aware of. There are subliminal characteristics that already shine through you, and your business techniques and strategies. You already have a personal brand! You just need to characterize it and translate it into your business. 

© All images courtesy of Future Females & Ana Torres

by Mackenzie

Business coach Amy-Lynn Denham on self care, work & family

Hellooooo CoWomen! I'm so excited to get to share with you an interview with business/life coach, freelance copywriter, and blogger, Amy-Lynn Denham! I was motivated to pick her brain for an interview after reading how she is an entrepreneur with chronic pain, mental health concerns, all while being a mother. These complications required her to find ways to work that suited her changing energy levels alongside work and family demands. She is a successful woman with a drive to empower other solopreneurs. With the experience to prove it!

1. You manage your chronic pain while still supporting your family and maintaining your career. What is your process for setting your work and family goals, while making time to practice self-care for your pain? 

It’s hard to keep all those balls in the air, if I’m honest. I’ve learned, though, that it’s important to practice self-compassion. Most people cannot keep them all in the air at once.  So, I delicately decide, day-to-day, which balls I will juggle and which I will place on the shelf. If my health is in crisis, I step back from everything and put my entire focus there. I am very lucky to not be the sole provider for my family. My husband has been extremely helpful in the regard of work and family. It’s a privilege I am well-aware of.

Finding my groove with health care/self-care, family, and work has taken considerable time. I spent about a year keeping extremely detailed notes about my pain, energy, other symptoms, eating habits, sleep issues, etc. To figure out exactly how much is too much for me to handle (in terms of work, exercise, etc.) and how much is realistic for me to take on. By building appropriate boundaries with myself I am able to better balance all that I have on the go.

Unfortunately, a big part of this process has been letting go. I have had to find acceptance for the fact that I won’t be at every baseball game, every lesson; that I won’t be able to go after every business opportunity or follow every passion and hobby that I have. It wasn’t an easy process.  There was grieving involved, anger, sadness, you name it. But it was worth it to find that I may not be able to “have it all” but I can have a piece of it all. And still be able to properly care for my health.

2.      You have a degree in psychology and work experience in group empowerment and personal consulting/coaching: in your experience, what do you think prevents people from being entirely self-motivated? Why do we need external support? 

As humans, we are social creatures. It’s just something time has bred into us, because we are safest in groups.  We aren’t made to have all of the answers. We are made to learn, to grow, and to work together.  So, honestly, I don’t want to see a world where we are entirely self-motivated and self-sufficient. In fact, I find that the best ideas and the best growth as people and societies happens when we come together and help each other.

To get deeper on a person-by-person level, though, I think that there are a lot of negative messages out there which are simply scaring people. We live in a time where fear is the best way to sell things, to control people, etc. It surrounds us. The news is almost 100% negative (depending on the source) and we often only get that first story – the breaking news bulletin – which scares the crap out of us, but rarely do we see the follow-up story on how the problem was solved, etc. We are also taught that people who achieve great things from modest circumstances are “special.” They are “outliers” and only achieved what they did by luck of the draw. Subscribing to that belief will only have us telling ourselves, “Oh, well I didn’t get the luck in the draw so there’s no use trying.”

It takes a community of empowering people to empower a person – to counterbalance those negative, fear-based messages they’ve received all their lives.

3.      Do you see a difference between how men and women motivate themselves, and if their obstacles to success differ?

Now that’s a deep question. I work predominantly with other women and always have, so it’s hard for me to speak much on the professional side about men in this regard. What I can say, though, is from personal experience and just talking with people outside of a working atmosphere.

I see some of the same obstacles for men and women and some that are different. For example, it’s been my experience that women are underestimated, thought of as too emotional to make level-headed decisions, or that their male and female counterparts worry that they will over-compensate for these stereotypes by becoming mean, overbearing, and rigid. It’s really hard to maintain a good balance as an empowered woman when people have all of these conflicting expectations of you before you even walk in a room.

For men, though, I see that there is quite a challenge when it comes to things like weakness, mental health concerns, and fear. Traditional workplaces don’t often encourage men to be honest about these struggles and it becomes compounded when they believe they need to hold these things in and act “tough.”

I am quite happy, though, to live in a time when more and more people are working to remove these stigmas for both men and women and to help people embrace all parts of who they are – even when they are angry, sad, scared, confused, or overwhelmed.

4.      I know from my own personal battles with anxiety that sometimes I am literally too exhausted to work. On your blog you mention your own struggles with mental health; do you have any tips on managing the fatigue or short attention span that accompanies anxiety or depression? 

Meditation. I was very fortunate to learn about mindfulness and meditation when I struggled with anxiety as a teenager. It was very helpful in calming my thoughts, stopping them from spiraling out of control. It brings me back to a place where I could see more than just the anxiety situation. It’s important to remember, though, that meditation is about the act not about the result. It’s not about being able to completely clear your mind – it’s about training your mind to clear itself.

Your brain literally creates neural pathways when you think things, do things, etc. For whatever reason (often trauma or disappointment, etc.) people who become prone to anxiety or depression create neural pathways. This leads their thoughts down these negative paths the way that water follows a riverbed – it’s just carved into the ground and the water really doesn’t have any other choice. By using meditation and CBT techniques, we can start to carve new pathways. It takes time, though. It’s not something we can just do overnight. But with every meditative practice, we start to carve new paths for that water – we start to rewire our brains and divert those thoughts down new paths.

You don’t have to try to turn your negative thoughts into positive ones. It’s more about finding realistic thoughts that follow a middle path. For example, I am afraid of tornados. As a child, I would hide out in the basement for the tiniest thunderstorms because of the chance of a tornado. I can’t tell myself that a tornado will never happen and that it’s impossible for me to experience one. That isn’t based in logic and no matter how much I say it in my head my brain throws it out and refuses to create that new riverbed.

When I look at it more realistically I can see that the chances are very small that I’ll be in the direct path of one. And if so, I will have ample time to save myself if I keep a cautionary eye on the weather. And ultimately, that I am missing out on more by hiding than I am by chancing it.

5.      How can women with personal barriers to success (mental health, family responsibilities, poor health) manage client relationships if they require flexibility with, for example, meeting deadlines?

So me, honesty has always been key. I wouldn’t want someone to be dishonest with me in work and so I will not be dishonest with my clients. That’s a scary thought, though, because what if the client won't work with us if we have a barrier which could affect the working relationship. I suggest being up-front, honest, and clearly outlining the ways that the barrier could affect things. 

For example, will you occasionally be late on deadlines? Does your barrier mean you work best if given a lot of work at once and then complete it gradually? Or that you work better if you can be in contact with your client often? When are you available to talk?  Do you need to turn your phone off on weekends and evenings? Can you take conference calls in the middle of the night – or ever (if you have kids in the home typing may be your best bet)? How many hours can you realistically work in a week? ETC. Don’t commit to more than you know you can actually accomplish, either.

I know it’s scary because the client could choose to walk away, but who wants that client anyway? Your barrier will rear its head, and when it does that type of client will leave you stranded. Better to create a relationship with one you know is understanding of your situation.

6.      You don’t work a typical 9-5 job, and with a family and health restrictions, who do you turn to for support to relate to your unique work-life balance?

Social media has been great for finding people who live similar lifestyles to me. It’s a great place to just laugh about the same chronic illness inside joke or to vent how frustrating it is when you have almost finished a project and have to step back from it. I don’t get deep emotional support in those places (personally) but it’s still helpful. If things get really difficult I have a trusted therapist I turn to who has always managed the right balance of tough and understanding. Sometimes I need to change my thinking while also reminding me to be easy on myself. 

I think having a therapist or coach is a huge help. Let me rephrase, I think finding the right therapist or coach is a huge help. If it doesn’t work out the first, second, third, twentieth time keep looking. Finding a therapist or coach is like dating – you won’t be a good match with everyone.

7.      What’s the one thing you would say to someone battling mental or physical challenges? 

Get flexible with your thinking. We are so used to thinking of life in a particular way – the way it’s all supposed to play out. My biggest challenge was to accept that my life path is not what I wanted it to be.  Family and financial constraints meant putting my masters and Ph.D. on hold. Health meant stepping back from my career completely for a period of time and then having to re-start it. Trying to push myself to where I thought I would or should be, though, only hurt me. I had to let go a little.

So, stop holding yourself to the standards you would hold your perfect version of yourself to. Stop thinking, “If I was well I could...” or “I should be able to...”  because you aren’t. You aren’t a perfect person so you aren’t going to live your perfect life. Holding yourself to those standards will only undermine the things you do accomplish, and stop you from seeing how far you’ve really come.

by Mackenzie

Pursuing your career intuition, not a vision

Sometimes I feel like I am simultaneously the most confident and the most insecure person on the planet. 

I very much know myself and what I enjoy, and what works for me as an employee and student. But what I don’t know is what the expectations really are for me at this time. I can raise myself up quickly with my successes: I’ve lived and worked in three countries before I have even earned my university degree! But looking at other people around me so easily tears me down.

I have always harbored this jealousy for people who are engineers, carpenters, or lawyers. I am a business major, which doesn’t necessarily translate into a direct career at any certain type of company. However, if you study engineering, I think it’s safe to assume you’re going to be an engineer. I am jealous of stability- of people who have their careers planned out. I’m so controlled by my whim for more that I direct myself towards more ambiguous, albeit exciting, paths. I compare myself to the people on my Facebook page who are buying homes, getting promoted, or getting engaged. My desire for an unconventional life has left me pursuing a future that follows my career intuition but isn’t stable. What is a career intuition? It means I don't have a vision of what my future career will be but I guide my professional decisions based on what feels good to me.

I've never been one of those girls who dreamed of a certain career. 

The normalcy of a 9-5 in a cubicle is something I'm unable to be content with. I throw myself into situations that are at first stressful. Moving to a new country: stressful. Focusing my studies on something that doesn't align with a set career: stressful. Not knowing what the next ten years of my life will look like: stressful. Literally even navigating a grocery store in a foreign country: surprisingly stressful. I am dedicating a crucial time of my life to pursuing my ‘wants’ and maybe not my ‘needs.’ That I'm dedicating a foundational part of my life to exploring, and in twenty years I will still be struggling at a minimum wage job scares me. But I know that right now, I want to explore the world and take full advantage of my youth while I don't have bills or other large responsibilities. 

There is a huge risk in pursuing your passions over what is practical. And pursuing a future based on intuition, not a vision. But what is greater than my jealousy of other people’s stability and “conventional” paths, is my fear of regretting not pursuing a future that allows me to travel all over the world and makes me excited to go into work every morning (whatever that work may be). This career hasn't manifested itself into a specific image, or vision of the future. But I do know what feels right, so I will follow my career intuition to guide me along in my decision-making. But, that doesn't mean I can't put in some work now. 

So what to do about it? 

First of all: yes, many people on Facebook are getting engaged and promoted, but some of my “friends” are also posting about going to jail and/or are trolls who comment negativity on anything they can find. So, I probably shouldn’t rely on Facebook as a marker of success. 

I also am strategic about all of my “whims.” Yeah, I am packed up and moved to a foreign country for two months, but it is for an internship where I’m gaining valuable work experience. There is tact in all of my adventures and decisions. So you’ll never see me moving to Thailand without a job already arranged or university classes to be taken (some people can afford to do this, but sadly, not I). You can definitely travel and follow your dreams and not be totally irresponsible about it.

I also make sure that every work experience I gain is diverse, yet transferable. I don’t know what career(s) I’ll want to pursue in the future. And that’s okay! But it’s not a reason to not be getting work experience. There is so much value in dedicating yourself to a job or internship. So even if it doesn’t directly correlate to something I want to do in the future, I am proving that I am reliable, hardworking, and flexible! Plus, some extra money doesn't hurt. I worked two jobs in the summer of 2018 to finance my study abroad trip to Edinburgh, Scotland. 

And finally, it really doesn't help being an asshole to yourself. I’m a strong believer in positive reinforcement and not punishments. All in all, every experience, good or bad, is a learning experience. So if something happens that I don’t like, it’s getting mentally categorized as, “yep, never doing that again” and moving on, and not, “omg, I'm a huge failure.” 

So if you, like me, sometimes feel like there isn't a clear goal you're pursuing, keep in mind that it's better to actually attempt to pursue happiness than being complacent for the sake of living a “normal” life. And it's okay to not have a set vision of what your future will look like. Remain malleable in your decisions, be flexible, and follow your career intuition on what seems like smart decisions for you, and not for other people. 

by Mackenzie

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